I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
