There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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