Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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