you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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