she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
