Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
