If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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