I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
