smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
