I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
