Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
