hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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