when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
