I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize