Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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