apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
