So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
