it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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