2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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