dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
