first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
