Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
