This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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