I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
