Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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