We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
