He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
