Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
