Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
