a search helicopter?!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
