I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
