Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
