just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize