Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
