i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
