Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
