your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize