I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize