How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
