there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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