I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize