Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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