My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
