I wanna passion pit in your ass
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize