The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
