I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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