Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
