Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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