Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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