Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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