I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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