im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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