he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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