apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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