Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
