That's when you crack a 10am beer
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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