Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I just put wine in my tea
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
