At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've blown a few things in my day
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
